The Self-Improvement Aisle

In Self-Improvement--one of the top five categories for books in the nation--I am alphabetizing by the last name of the author. I never get past M for mountebank.

Wonderful Concern

Top purchaser of Laura S's 10 things women do to ruin their futures is Daddies who respect that their daughters are grown, but think they are screwing up royally. They can't actually talk sex and bad boyfriends face-to-face, so they get the book and hand it over. Maybe they highlight the relevant passages first. I'm guessing not, in case things are more comprehensively bad than they know.

Petty Concern

A mom comes in for a book on grief for step-granddaughters. We only have two books for grieving granddaughters. The woman won't buy one, because she wasn't a real grandma but a step-grandma. I know you think I am making this up.

Cheerfully Low

A pretty young woman asks for a book for raising self-esteem. I give her two to look at. She asks me to pick it out, since her low self-esteem means she won�t know what to pick.

I show her how to check for credentials of the author and show her how to compare passages. �You should find the one that Speaks to You,� I tell her. "Listen to your Inner Voice, it will Empower you." 

Okay, it gets tough now.

Distressing Open-ness

An overweight and sweaty man asks for books on overcoming child sexual abuse. He is, underneath the ick, a desperate (didn�t get the pervert vibe) man. He tells me all the books we have are about girl victims, but he was a victim and he wants a book with help for male victims. I explain that 

a. I have not read all these books, and 

b. compassion means extrapolating feelings of others to oneself. 

This does not fly. It never does.

Then to prove to me he�s not gay or a pedophile, he loudly examines books on adult sex. Yeah, it was the ick, but not compared to some ick I have encountered (all clothes intact, thank you). I felt bad for him. I wanted him to go away and never come back. 

Distressing Silence

A very lady-like grandmother comes in. She wants a book that will teach her granddaughter to not be mad. Okay, anger management. I got a bunch of them out. They won't quite suit.

Finally she admits the anger is due to the girl's mom going to prison. I look for some books about prison-related separation and grief. Those won't do either. Besides, they are all special orders. 

So now grandma admits that she wants a book to teach her granddaughter not to be mad about the fact that mom and her boyfriend were sexually abusing her over a number of years and that is why mom is going to prison.

At this point, I lose patience. "I'm sorry, ma'am," I tell her. "It sounds to me like your granddaughter should be very angry. And there are some situations a $14.95 book just won't cover. I advise you to seek professional help for your granddaughter right away."

In case you are wondering, these examples cover two afternoons, with the exception of the concerned Dads above, which happened over and over. On days like this, I used to pick up the A.A. 'twelve steps & twelve traditions' book on my way to a well-deserved fifteen-minute break. I would read the steps over and over again. I am not in a Twelve-Step program, but I still think it is the sanest book on the aisle.