Miss Ellen Affects Men

Miss Ellen and I are waiting for a light to change Green. Some man on some bicycle gives her the once-over. Then he looks at me.

"Three-speed, huh?" he says. " I never thought anyone would ride one of those anymore."

Now that he has established a Spurious Superiority, the light turns Green. He leaves on his bike, which probably had no name. That's because it had no personality.

I was temporarily peeved. Worse, Miss Ellen was somewhat deflated by this.

"Forget it, Ellen," I said, filling her tires. "You're more than a match for any bike that ever lived. After all, you have been to Amsterdam, the Himalayas, and Egypt. Not to mention our long distance runs."

I had to explain the Inferiority Complex to her.

"Ellen, the truth is, you are the perfect bike. You're the right height. Your switch gears to perfection. And your pedals are indestructible. Girlfriend, you are quality make."

That and the air put some bounce in her humps. We were now ready for Adventure.

That time we almost broke Perimeter at a Secure Installation.  A police officer took two steps toward us and spread his arms like a big bear hug.

We swerved away, just in time.

"Sorry," I called out. He was grinning at us. I told Miss Ellen he had his arms out because she was so attractive. And since that is also true, how can it be a lie?

Eight more miles that day. We are confident ladies, staying on just this side of trouble.