The Real Thing

We got married on February 17th. I picked that day because it was an anniversary of our first date. I learned on that date that you cannot talk about real feelings when eating a salad. I did not eat on our first date.

It was an old-fashioned kind of ceremony, but not a church wedding. We had an eloquent Justice of the Peace. She said the words of the service like they were totally new for us. Another couple invited to the wedding asked for her the next year.

We had the wedding in the somewhat rangy backyard and back patio of a friend's newly-purchased  'fixer upper'. The day before the wedding we pruned the trees in the yard, set up the chairs, and prepped all the food for the reception. We did not have a rehearsal, but we had a fun rehearsal dinner.

Girl stuff: My mom made my dress. It was off-white linen, waltz-length, not a scrap of lace anywhere. I had blue iris, yellow tulips, and orange lilies--it looked very spring. One carrot cake, white frosting, purple flowers. One chocolate cake, yellow flowers.

My husband made the music tape. I made the tablecloths. We had around fifty people attending. My father-in-law cried with happiness and everyone else was just--joyous. I cried a little too. My husband was the only one who wasn't nervous.

Then we stuck around instead of running off with new luggage. It was an afternoon dressy picnic.

My aunt gave me 16 wine glasses. She'd asked me what I wanted, and that was it "because we always break them". I meant by washing them in a porcelain sink, but she thought we were throwing them in the fireplace.

We had a good marriage. We were happy and we improved each other. Consoled each other. Made big plans and little ones. Argued. Talked things out. Did stuff together. And we laughed a lot.

Months after he died, I dreamed he was walking in a forest with his two favorite dogs, one of whom I never knew except through stories--so I know it was true, him beyond just me. We talked awhile in a clearing in the woods. He transformed into a ball of light before I was ready. The light folded under my ribs and moved behind my breastbone. Then I woke up.