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Just a silly post, why not? Answers are below.
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1. When a box of cookies says, "Now better Flavor!" it means:
a. They have added more vanilla.
b. They have added more oil.
c. All of the above.

2. "Now Value-Priced!" means;
a. We tried to get you to pay $9.99 for this pack of socks but couldn't move the merchandise.
b. This $6.99 sale price is temporary until the $9.99 stickers arrive from the warehouse.
c. We plan to lull you with the old price while jacking up the new price.
d. All of the above.

3. "Contains No Trans-Fats!" means:
a. We can't sell this in New York anymore, so we switched to some fat that is equally obnoxious.
b. Because we had to change our production, this now costs 35 cents more per unit.
c. We like to do right by our valued customers.

4. A sandwich is said to be "artisanal" when:
a. Bricklayers put it together;
b. The cheese does not fit the shape of the bread
c. It costs an extra $3.00 for ham on rye.

5. "Part of a Healthy Family Diet" means:
a. It's the same bad stuff, only in a green box, so don't worry about serving the unfamiliar.
b. It contains a full day's fiber and vitamins if you eat twenty-six servings.
c. It should be supplemented with watermelon, cucumbers, and brown rice.
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Answers: 1 (b), vanilla is expensive; 2. (d), caveat emptor; 3. (a) prices may go up, but the real issue is misdirection; 4. (c), 'nuff said; 5 (a. or b.) depending on color of box.