Not Exactly the Cuban Missile Crisis or Anything

We interrupt previously-scheduled programming because Bed Bug Inspections will Occur on my floor today. It is not that I have to do anything for it. I'm just distracted.

Normally, our Condominium Association gives Free Extermination. This is of course a free ride for the messy people in the building. However, it also encourages reportage/complaints so that the entire building is not inundated. It's a good plan and it mostly works.

There is one older man with diminished capacity who is so used to his bugs now, he thinks everyone has them and that this is normal. Recently, his family was called and impressed with the health hazard he really was. They took a week to visit and re-did his living quarters for him. They also paid for extermination services above and beyond. It was terrible. At the same time, that was a real show of love, let me tell you., by them--and a teeth-gritting attention to duty by the cleaning help and exterminators.

The last time this happened, another older man--with no family. In that case, he also had Alzheimer's. A court-appointed ward took over for the same result. It was also awful, beyond words terrible.  But he started showing up with a smile and a clean purple or green shirt and pressed trousers. They did a good job for him. Decency.

For this crisis, the Condo Board agreed to pay a slightly higher cost for inspections in order to give individuals somewhat of a break. Most of those who have them are going to have to ditch a lot of furniture, pay to have it wrapped and taken away, and have other high unexpected costs. We are, however, not so large-hearted as to pay for their in-unit treatment. And we will enforce it. We will even pay it and send those poor residents to collections. You can't even avoid the inspection--if we can't get in, we're drilling locks, replacing them, and billing for that. We've got the Hatchet, you know. I've got the ledgers. But my main worry is tomorrow.

I am restraining two cats from depredations on Bug-Sniffing Beagles who are invading their territory. I understand the invasion of the Beagles will be short. However, it is the longer-term invasion that concerns me.

I don't have bed bugs! But I also don't have a Beagle Nose.

Tonight, I may well write on economic indicators of failing neighborhoods. However, if the Beagle smells Bugs, I can assure you I will be tottering down to a local dive to drink a lot of Kickapoo Joy Water. 

Image via Wikipedia

I have been told by other, normally-sensible residents, that my anxiety is perfectly normal. Ah, fate! I am in your hands.  In the meantime, some thing are going right lately with Zombie Ambition and the Condo Board. We are On Top of Things.

Cartoons are from Al Capp's Lil Abner, so is Kickapoo Joy Juice.

UPDATE, 12:45 P.M.: I AM OFFICIALLY BED BUG FREE!!!!!

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