Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Dispatch from the Zombie War

Classification: Top Secret.
communication intercepted by agent of the CBIA(Condo Board Intelligence Agency) from zombie dispatch sent yesterday

To: Zombie General (redacted)
From: Zombie Boss
In Re: Situation at Condo Office Basement
estimable sir we require reinforcements now must wear gas masks against continuing onslaught of Breath of Fresh Air stop Zombie Sparks of Resentment mortars ineffective stop Confusion Dust has only temporary effect stop Zombie Assistant wailing and moaning twenty-four seven afraid of blasts from Freeze Ray and possibly The Axe
Hathaway forces outflanked us at Third Party Accounting Firm has now breached the third floor accounts advance guard working on fourth floor stop 
supply of Bullshit getting low stop tends to disintegrate in face of Common Sense stop signs of Hathaway Laughter Ray appearing soon also Annoyance creeping up stop what do we do next please advise
Well, that sums it up. I'm almost done with the third floor accounts. Five floors to go. I met with the third party accountants and asked how things should go, what they recommend, and how we were going to handle the seriously past-due. None of it was rocket science. In fact, it is all things that it looks like the zombies used to do and then dropped from sheer disinterest.

So, after the meeting with the accountants, I met with Zombie Boss. At the end of the meeting, his lip curled. He said, (and I paraphrase)

"The Board is going to have to take a serious look at the cost-benefit analysis of running financials methodically. If it takes too much time, they may want to come up with another solution."

It was all I could do not to laugh.

"That's a wonderful idea," I told him. "I think you should figure that out. I'm sure the Board would be very interested to know."

He told me that he was working with Zombie Assistant, training her, and I was not to interfere. Hey, been trying to get him to do that since November of 2008.

Today I sent him a note, copy President, that he should definitely add up those costs and benefits. Then I pointed out that I had taken all the time-consuming tasks off his hands, to give him a 'temporary space' to institute procedures. I followed that up with a request to meet with Zombie Assistant, as I have some particular questions and want them answered right away. We could meet Friday or Tuesday.

He did not answer me all day, so I sent another note at 4:45 p.m.--I guess we're meeting Friday, then.
Smack, zam! I received a note saying Tuesday would be good.  ROFL!!!
I've got these zombies on the run--

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